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October 13 2017

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creepygasmaskguy:

The teacher is now legally allowed, even obligated in some states to kill you.

beauty-in-healing:

margotkim:

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

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landofsomethingsomething:

am i looking at vandalism or was this someone’s conscious choice

mmilhouse:

mintycoolnessisrelevant:

I’ve got a new word for fanfic writers to use, brought to you by todays word of the day:

example sentence: she gazed into his smaragdine orbs

obama chuckled. “you mean the chaos smaragdines?”

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garbage-empress:

I want to imagine this shirt is the length of a maxi dress and just continues to divulge more embarassing information all the way to the floor.

zaku-too:

necromanceher:

I’ve come to inform you all the Ancient Greeks spelled Thoth, the Egyptian deity, as Θώθ

hey, thanks! now die

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luxtempestas:

poopcop:

luxtempestas:

banished for poop related crimes

Would you like to file a report

who are you

papatulus:

sundial911:

papatulus:

why my hand shaky

your skeleton is ready to hatch

this is so fucking ominous thank you

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lapeaudelamemoire:

overachieversloth:

markv5:

“Технически, я не ходил по столу”…

I’m gonna shit a brick.

I love this so much I might overload and die
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schwarzfee:

No wonder Usagi’s hair is never out of place, apparently it has its own bone structure.

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nix-styxand:

jiluan:

every time I burp I legally have to do a rick sanchez impression or they won’t let me see my family again

and every time we kiss i swear i could fly

kittykat8311:

cullenski:

kittykat8311:

what situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you

Being a fish

Well, shit

cassandradeyolo:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

My roommate from Beijing is fascinated by English expletives and is asking about the most offensive terms we have. I tried to explain the difference between insulting swear words and offensive slurs, and he was delighted by ‘asshole’, ‘motherfucker’, ‘bastard’, ‘dickhead’, and ‘shithead’. Explaining slurs without using any proved to be difficult, as he just tried to insult me by saying, “You are a big slur!”

I told him that he can combine different words to make new ones and he just pointed at me and said, “Fuck you, you son of shit-sucker! You loser!” 

“In China, we say ‘fuck your mom, fuck your ancestors, fuck your parents, fuck everyone… but we don’t say ‘fuck yourself’. I love that! In America, you can fuck anyone, even yourself!”

welcome to the land of opportunity, my brother. Please, sit down. Relax. Go fuck yourself.

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September 22 2017

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ishinomori:

tainbocuailnge:

The Shape of Water (2017) directed by Guillermo del Toro

it’s so fucking true what they say about memes being cyclical and constantly dying and ressurecting because i swear to god in my lifetime i did not expect to have this on my dash again in 2017 with a genuine contextual reason for it

September 18 2017

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heckifiknowcomics:

Gotta love yourself

September 17 2017

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softcannoli:

markv5:

Каждый имеет право на образование

August 25 2017

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